bekks.corner 6/2/26

The urge to write.

How confusing this all feels.

How im finally realizing what I meant.

Dancing on the tile.

Running through the kitchen, dinning room and living room.

The same song on repeat and the lyrics keep hitting harder and harder.

Weird, right?

A song about falling for someone and in the most romantic way.

But it was in California and it never existed.

I probably wanted it to exist then.

"Ive been trying not to think about it but I cant help it."

"I know you dont want to hear from me but I am selfish."

"I wish you had enough discipline for the both of us."

"Just because I can't turn off the way I feel."

"I could never let you go."

Emotional because wow I was listening to this then and loved it some how but I was so miserable at the time.

The conversations, the fucking conversations.

How they replay in my head over and over again.

How i can bring it up later.

The fact that I feel even safe to do so.

Messes with my brain a little.

So much hypothetical.

So much fantasy.

Why does my brain go to fantasy.

Because it sounds nice right?

I found this tik tok, it said dont fall in love, just love.

Like I said before, how do i do this.

What would shai say?

Im fucking dead thinking about it.

Like dying laughing.

How free yet confused running through the house.

Not hearing myself try and hit every note.

My mom in the other room laughing saying "you're so off key"

It's my little rush for the day.

Dancing in the refrigerator light.

But wait, thats what I use to do before him.