bekks.corner 4/21/26

There's a lot of things you don't know.

You don't know why I haven't answered your calls.

How i'm doing, what i'm doing, who i'm talking to, if i'm sleeping, if i'm happy....

And you don't get to know, i'm enjoying my day off.

Not crying, not sleeping and not in pain.

I'm painting, trying to achieve my goals, starting a life that doesn't involve you, and being happy about that.

Because at the end of the day, I'm loving Maverick in my bed, enjoying the rain in listening to music.

I'm painting a bottle of tequila, calling shai, and planning my next night out.

I'm not worried about who's in my life, If i'm crazy or if you're going to ruin my weekend.

You're not my responsibility, not my time, not in my head, and not in my feelings.

I'm me and I love me and the version I will be three months from now.

I'm not the same 19, 20 or 21 year old I was in march. I'm 21 and 8 months older, happier and fuller.

I'm praying now.

I'm living a life that's not dependent on you.

I could only imagine if I allowed you to ruin the moments that meant the most to me.

Looking back, I can see how emotionally abusive, how emotionally immature you were and how much hatred you carried within yourself.

Dramatic self absorbing obsessive and self centering. I now understand what "I love you it's ruining my life" means now.

And I wouldn't choose you ever again.

You loved yourself not me.