the haunting of september: a journey through grief and survival

confronting the shadows of loss

you told me when i was five

that when i turned fourteen, you’d die.

like you were cursed,

like it was fate.

but it was just another lie you made,

a ruined saved the date.

you turned my birthday into a death sentence,

a ticking clock strapped into my chest.

you made yourself the victim,

and left us holding the mess.

you chose the day,

you chose the year.

on the anniversary,

you disappeared.

september is slaughter.

candles i hate.

every flame feels like

another mistake.

you tied my worth

to the day you left,

a child’s whole life

you turned to regret.

the weight of broken promises

i was twelve, not fourteen.

wasn’t ready, wasn’t grown.

but you broke your pinky promise

and left me alone.

bottles and toys scattered the floor,

your shadow waiting outside the door/morgue.

you said it was fate, but it was just blame,

your suicide screaming my own mother’s name.

no fairytale ending, no story to keep,

just silence and secrets that cut too deep.

you said it was written, you said it was planned,

but it was just your selfish demands.

reclaiming my voice

september is slaughter,

but we will grow.

your ghost can linger,

but we’ll live now.

you tied my worth

to you being dead,

your voice in my head,

but i’ll speak instead.

september is slaughter,

but i won’t allow

myself to surrender,

to not live now.

even in september,

i will be heard.

you tied my worth

to your suicide,

but my voice is louder

and i will not be shy.

september is slaughter,

but i will show

that i am much stronger

and i will grow

from how you tied my worth

to you being dead.

the aftermath of grief

i’m probably not over it.

the echoes linger.

the memories haunt.

but i find strength

in the cracks of my heart.

each scar tells a story.

each tear, a testament.

i walk through the shadows,

embracing the pain.

it’s raw, it’s real.

it’s a part of me.

the art of survival,

the beauty in the broken.

i paint my truth,

with colors of sorrow.

i write my pain,

in verses of hope.

the darkness is heavy,

but so is the light.

the journey continues

i rise from the ashes,

reborn from the grief.

september is a reminder,

but it’s not my cage.

i am more than your shadow,

more than your ghost.

i carve my path,

with every heartbeat.

i reclaim my worth,

not tied to your end.

i am alive,

and i will thrive.

the journey is long,

but i will walk it.

with every step,

i shed the weight.

i embrace the scars,

the stories they tell.

i am here.

i am whole.

i am more than the pain.

i am a survivor.

09/13/2025