selfish september

Sweet, sweet September

suicide circus suppresses

the days i dont remember

though always feeling breathless.

the whole month im restless,

spinning in circles while seated

rewinding my childhood mess,

knowing that im still defeated.

rejected, depleted,

i felt so mistreated.

they tried to keep his

suicide a secret.

September is slaughter,

a flood of blood splatter.

my self worth feels smaller

because of my father.

he said when i turned fourteen,

his life would disappear

but it wasnt a prophecy

just poison in my ear

a cycle he invented,

a curse with my name

his silence was a weapon

his suicide screamed blame.

in reality, it’s still the same

the silence remains,

the weight, the shame.

his pain was his own,

yet he made it mine,

the ache inside each bone

passed through the bloodline.

September is slaughter,

suicidal cuz of daughter

now with no father

my self worth is somber

he screamed out blame,

but ill break the curse

i wont be the same

but i could be much worse…

im over it

09/13/25