bekks.corner 6/4/26

Im suppose to be asleep, but I cant sleep.

I feel the tiredness dont worry.

My mind runs rampant at night when there's so much to think about.

Im proud of myself and how much I've grown in the last 2 months.

I knew this would happen.

A break up plus 4 months is the best medicine.

I love how in tuned I am with myself.

I was right.

Shai said the exact shit I knew she would.

It's wild how we live the same life, just in different eras.

I can't let someone else take that from me again.

I have to remember that I can create my own peace.

I need to work on loving myself and wrapping my head around compliments.

I need my happiness to be built on me and not on some distraction.

I need to build a healthier relationship with food.

I need to allow myself time to think.

I need to learn to take a day off because I fucking can.

I learned that I go to la- la land because it's always been easier than dealing with life.

It makes sense of the dissociation and my ADHD hyperfixations.

I guess it's time to get control over these things.

Like seriously, I've been inconsistent with my life.

No wonder why I can't get a grip on life.

I feel like i just go numb.

Its not even a question.

Like yes of course I do because I'd rather not feel anything when my emotions are involved.

And im slowly realizing this is a fucking problem now.

I'll never be able to live the life I want if this remains my coping mechanism.

Realizing it's because I give all of these feelings to people who never deserved them and now this is where I stand.

But I'll get there, right?

Like life already did it's thing.

There shouldn't be much more to deal with compared to my childhood and becoming an adult.

I won't be as stupid like before.

I want to live the life i want to live.

"I think we're always going to have these moments of one day and this is what I've been waiting for and it's here" - Maci Needly