bekks.corner 6/3/26

I hope you understand that it wasn't because of all of our issues.

Yes it was our issues.

Yes I should of let you go so much sooner.

I did that to myself and to you.

And you knew I wouldn't leave you.

Its because I said im going back to my parents and you decided that your fists needed to hit that door.

That throwing shit was going to solve everything.

With the lights off.

Aniyah said "it's because you're nice.

What man isn't going to want that."

And I died because I didnt think that would be the reason of all reasons.

Me? Nice?

Yes and no.

Its not like her jaw hasnt dropped before over things I've said.

Im too nice.

Mom says she changed and she doesn't drink as much.

She said she can only go based off of what she's seen.

Is that her way of keeping family together for herself?

There is no unspoken forgiving.

There is and isn't because ive accepted I'll never get that apology and I have to give it to myself.

Nothing will change because the wisest adult here can't even do it.

She'll always be that version of herself in California i know until she does something.

Its because you're a L4.

Yes I wanted a friend and that hurt kinda but like I said people always want more with me.

I thought distance meant nothing is the same ever again.

Its because i never expected someone with so much authority catch feelings.

AND THEN DISCLOSE IT.

That was mind rattling.

My phone is still dead but not as dead as it use to be.

We're waiting for it to go dead silent.

It always does.

I started muting app notifications because I dont even care.

When's my new beginning?

When will it change.

When will the good part begin?

Its just me, Spotify, and notes.