feeling better

i don’t miss you—

i miss stability.

alone in a room,

the thoughts cling to me.

it wasn’t you,

it was how you carried

the weight of peace

that i shouldn’t have buried

im not running from you,

im running from me.

lost and off balance,

like a teeter-totter built

without handles—

which way to tilt?

too many questions

run through my conscience,

like a runaway sentence-d

to what, i don’t know?

but im facing it happened,

down through my actions,

buildings a future

worth better self habits.

now I’m chasing stability,

so there’s nowhere to hide.

its not about love,

not about the loss—

its about finding myself,

no matter the cost.

sometimes i feel

like a jack-in-the-box.

but why deal, give zero fucks.

i can handle—

cuz once the music stops,

like the ego that’s fragile,

i don’t wanna pop.

control more reasonable,

not here comes the weasels

falling but capable.

its never personal,

the fear is irrational.

made up my mentality:

i don’t miss you—

i miss the stability.

alone in my room,

but finding my clarity.

im over it

11/16/2024