broken record player

a loop im stuck in, can’t begin,

heart beats rapid, walls closing in,

every day is a déjà vu

same damn thing its nothing new

spinning room, iv lost my grip,

words slip through pale chapped lips,

am i awake, or is this a trip

im breaking down another sip

im stuck on repeat, what the fuck,

trapped in my head, shit outta luck,

same damn thoughts, the needle’s stuck,

im screaming out, but it sounds like UUGHH

fear of faces, that are now just ghosts,

brain is haunting, i hurt the most,

try to shake my mental headspace

cant escape stuck caution tape

what is real and whats in my mind?

fighting shadows that run and hide

static screaming its all too loud

how to breathe clear without this cloud

glued to the floor

i cannot move

grabbing more

with hands that disapprove

sinfilled room eyes on the ceiling

jacking off just to lay down dreaming

pealing off soaking clothes of liquor

snorting white lines of wallpaper

stuck on repeat, can’t seem to break

every sip just numbs the ache

blame old cycles, same mistakes

falling deeper down each step i take

pouring poison just to quiet my mind,

but i end up more lost, in time

maybe i should just end my life

im over it

10/19/