30 murderous minutes

my phone died

and my brain popped

into had to hide

but your talking hasnt stopped

i slammed the door

and screamed bloody murder

i fell to the floor

still listening to you murmer

i record all our conversations

i like to reflect on my actions

you think i probably have ill intentions

but i genuinely want to fix our interactions

i should have realized my breaking point

im trying to be more self aware

30 minute talk and more to dissapoint

so much so i rip out my hair

i feel bad my brother watched me

begging “shai stop please”

only being able to say sorry

charged my phone saw the recording

ten minutes before i ran away

you said you felt abandoned

i listened to what you had to say

i wish we handled it different

i know better

i know better

i know better

and yet i knew absolutely nothing

not realizing my next move

internalizing, im still practicing

trying to be shatterproof

im over it

09/19/2024